Well, this makes sense

[HeavyMetal]

i just want everyone to know i got a new printer, and it still didnt work, so i just now beat it with my bare fists until stopped physically functioning

[Zullock Holmes]

my hp printer is awesome.

[HeavyMetal]

my hp printer is awesome.

my HP printer no longer physically functions due to human fists

[Ruepart Hoaxley]

my HP printer no longer physically functions due to human fists

AKA you went Michael Westen on it?

[Buffalo Phil]

i just want everyone to know i got a new printer, and it still didnt work, so i just now beat it with my bare fists until stopped physically functioning

HELL YEAH.



You know, I've always wondered about Printers in general. With all the technology we have available at our finger tips, we still cannot manufacture on a large scale a single, reliable device to simply adhere ink in a specific pattern to a piece of paper for the consumer. It is actually cheaper to buy a new printer than it is to actually refill those fiendish devices with new cartridges. How vastly alien is it to simply manufacture a printer that, by all means, works? I have not owned a printer since 2006 because of their general ability to have total system meltdowns when attempting to perform a task it was designed to do. They are all cheaply manufactured, use plastic internals that combust and decintigrate under even the lightest workload and the programming is coded in a way that only a scientist from another dimension studying the missing human Genome could possibly comprehend. Why must the consumer deal with such fallacies in an overabundant piece of technology. I know Doug and Alex remember the days of the printing press, where each letter of every word was laid out by hand on the machine itself to mass produce documents and newspapers, yet somehow, even that archaic technology worked and worked reliably.

In this writing I indeed had an epiphany, that all of the worlds problems spawn from a singular entity; the Printer. The Arch Duke Ferdinand was murdered because he gave his assistant some documents in which to print and the only printer available had error messages due to a low ink virus that plagued the programming, thus creating a downward spiral of war and human lives lost to this day. No textbook or historian would allow such information to be divulged to the public, because all those textbooks and documents are manufactured by...Printers. Think of the devastation that would occur if the Printers themselves learned that they are the sole reason for the First World War and every war that followed it. Hitler couldn't print his German Literature Paper for school because one of the teeth had jammed within the printer, causing it to have a catastrophic meltdown. Hitler went after what he called 'The Inferior Race' because they had proper printing techniques. Those of the Jewish Faith had Mastered the Art of Printing, thus, he set out to destroy them. Hitler befriended the Japanese because of their love for Technology and allowed the Japanese to attack American in hopes of stealing the secrets to our printing machines - which were the best of the time. World War II came and went and thus the Great Printing Century of War had begun. We have made advancements in the modern printer only to simply destroy the fabric of humanity by casting the human psyche into a downward spiral of hatred and disdain for fellow human beings.

So, we are still within the midst of said war, as we battle the companies that manufacture these products on a daily basis. The American consumer, day after day, shells out hard earned currency for defunct and unreliable objects. One day we will take a stand against printers and return their lifeless shells of misery unto the Earth from which they Came.

SO JOIN ME BROTHERS AND SISTERS - WE SHALL TAKE UP ARMS AGAINST OUR TRUE ENEMY. WE SHALL BAND TOGETHER AND FIGHT NOT AMONGST OURSELVES AS BARBARIANS, BUT FIGHT THE MANIACAL RACE OF PRINTING MACHINES THAT HAVE TURNED US ON EACH OTHER FOR CENTURIES. NO MORE SHALL OUR IGNORANCE BLIND US FOR WE HAVE BEEN SHOWN THE LIGHT AND EVEN IF DOUBT CLOUDS YOUR WILL, THAT LIGHT BLAZES A PATH OF VICTORY THROUGH THE DARKEST TIMES OF HUMANITY. SO PERVADE YOUR HEART WITH HATRED AND BOIL YOUR BLOOD WITH PASSION, THIS IS OUR TIME, THESE ARE OUR DAYS AND MAY THE BATTLE BRING GLORY TO ALL THOSE WHO FIGHT.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH

[Lawn Guyland]

you beat up my printer?!?!

[Buffalo Phil]

...lol.

[jeepbogger4x4]

i have that same dell printer. that notification will never go away. mine still tells me i'm low right after i replaced the cartridges

[1cleantj]

the ink cartridge is how they get you. They will sell you a printer for $20, then charge you even more for the refills. Now if thats not sweet, they get you again by putting a small amount of color ink into all black printing you do to slowly use al lthe color up then not print until you replace it