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Let's just tow the Earth there instead...
The 2015 Dodge Challenger Hellcat will have 707 HP and 650 ft. lbs. of torque.
If you are a red-blooded American male (or female), this is pretty awesome.
If you're a jalopnik hipster douche clown, this is the worst thing ever:
"And it still weighs as much as a 3500 Mega cab... and probably handles about the same.
I still think Chrysler did the best job at the retro design thing but the Challenger has always been the fat kid trying to run around with the athletic kids and falls down hilariously and every change of direction. Like what I imagine fat Jonah Hill playing soccer would be like."
"Pft. Why stop at 700? Get this sucker to crank 800bhp. Show that putting in a ton of power in a land yacht that can't turn and will have difficulty putting all that power to the ground still means something."
"Dodge Challenger. Now with 700+ hp and a chassis that remains so terrible you'll wish you were driving a Prius instead."
"I don't get why this is remotely useful or desirable. How fast do you need to go in a bargeish gigantic coupe? How is this car even remotely going to get that much power to the road? Though as a stockholder in a tire company I guess I should be happy, but it seems completely pointless."
"Logic: "Hey Dodge, you should lighten up that challenger. Make it perform better.
Dodge: "Horsepower?"
Logic: "No, dude I said lower the weight.
Dodge: "MOAR....."
Logic: "Don't.
Dodge: "Power."
Logic: (Facepalm)
Dodge: "Vroom Vroom.""
"Wow...707 unusable horsepower. Not sure what this is supposed to compete with."
"It has pretty much zero market segment except for people who want to flop it out. It will be slower in the corners than the gt500/boss 302 and z28 and still be slower in a straight line than many cars with 200 less horsepower.
If you are blazing your own trail it should at least be good at something. This thing is going to ring in well above the existing SRT8 which is $55k. How many people are willing to spend $65k-$70k on a vehicle that will have its doors blown off by all its competitors."
"Its very cool dont get me wrong but im really not that impressed with HP numbers. Its the like GT500........gets worked over by the camaro on a track with 100 less hp. In the end its the cheapest way of thrilling people. Put more HP in the car and watch people go nuts. I guess for me its like 4k tv's . Yeah they are cool but only if your going to sit 3 feet from your tv."
"Yea, but will it still handle like shit?"
"but it still has roughly the same dimensions and weight of a small moon, with the outward visibility of a bunker, yes?"
"Oh, how does it turn?"
"700HP is going to instantly warp you to 120MPH and it will probably feel like your driving a Prius most of the time. People will be running 10 second quarter miles while sipping a latte."
"Once a shitbox, always a shitbox."
"Ugh. I hate that kind of hp masturbation. That hp number is ok for the drag strip, is pointless on the street, and unfortunately it's sold to every idiot who *thinks* he can drive. Fortunately, that car has no more than 200 hp once you are in a corner or on a wet road because the electronics, working overtime to save idiots' asses, won't give you any more. However, my friends and I spend our free time instructing at track days - and guess what, we end up in the right seat of increasingly ridiculous cars, so that the student can hit the wall faster."
"Dear Muscle car driver,
The throttle is not a switch. Neither are the brakes. If you're uncomfortable with the size of your genetalia, please seek either a medical specialist or a councellor.
Thanks."
"700 hp is just more than one can fully (close to the limit) use unless one is a very advanced driver, at the level of a senior club racer or a pro. Too much hp also tends to *keep* drivers from learning, because they feel they are the "fastest" anyway, while with a low hp momentum car, you need to learn how to drive well to be quick."
"You will surely be able to impress your colleagues in that 60-9o mph highway "pull". Not interesting at all"
"They better change the brakes and suspension or it'll be another crapcan, hot rod that can spin its tires and make some rednecks spill their beer, but not go fast."
"Hell. Cat. So it'll handle like hell and also be a pussy? Hell hath no fury like Mittens the Tabby? It's a demonically posessed Calico? Sounds like someone in marketing needs a long, long holiday in a nice, comfortable "facility.""
"A hushed crowd awaits the announcement from Dodge on their "unsteerable land missile" project."
"A new car for R U Faster Than A Redneck?"
"I hope that each purchase of a Hellcat comes with a Certificate for a Driving School. Otherwise in our overly litigious society, you might find a few lawsuits coming their way. At a certain point in time, as much as I'm a Jalopnik, there can be such a thing as Too Much Horsepower in the hands of amateurs."
"Frankly, I'm starting to feel like I want this car to be prohibitively expensive. I don't want the regular idiots that I normally see drive Challengers to have access to 700HP."
"its such a shame its tied to such a bloated chassis."
"I sure hope they upgraded the LX platform's suspension to actually keep that power stuck to the ground, otherwise, it's going to be an extremely efficient mechanism for removing wealthy middle-aged men from the world."
"707HP. 650LB/FT. Turns as well as a Buick Regal from the 80s."
The 2015 Dodge Challenger Hellcat will have 707 HP and 650 ft. lbs. of torque.
If you are a red-blooded American male (or female), this is pretty awesome.
If you're a jalopnik hipster douche clown, this is the worst thing ever:
"And it still weighs as much as a 3500 Mega cab... and probably handles about the same.
I still think Chrysler did the best job at the retro design thing but the Challenger has always been the fat kid trying to run around with the athletic kids and falls down hilariously and every change of direction. Like what I imagine fat Jonah Hill playing soccer would be like."
"Pft. Why stop at 700? Get this sucker to crank 800bhp. Show that putting in a ton of power in a land yacht that can't turn and will have difficulty putting all that power to the ground still means something."
"Dodge Challenger. Now with 700+ hp and a chassis that remains so terrible you'll wish you were driving a Prius instead."
"I don't get why this is remotely useful or desirable. How fast do you need to go in a bargeish gigantic coupe? How is this car even remotely going to get that much power to the road? Though as a stockholder in a tire company I guess I should be happy, but it seems completely pointless."
"Logic: "Hey Dodge, you should lighten up that challenger. Make it perform better.
Dodge: "Horsepower?"
Logic: "No, dude I said lower the weight.
Dodge: "MOAR....."
Logic: "Don't.
Dodge: "Power."
Logic: (Facepalm)
Dodge: "Vroom Vroom.""
"Wow...707 unusable horsepower. Not sure what this is supposed to compete with."
"It has pretty much zero market segment except for people who want to flop it out. It will be slower in the corners than the gt500/boss 302 and z28 and still be slower in a straight line than many cars with 200 less horsepower.
If you are blazing your own trail it should at least be good at something. This thing is going to ring in well above the existing SRT8 which is $55k. How many people are willing to spend $65k-$70k on a vehicle that will have its doors blown off by all its competitors."
"Its very cool dont get me wrong but im really not that impressed with HP numbers. Its the like GT500........gets worked over by the camaro on a track with 100 less hp. In the end its the cheapest way of thrilling people. Put more HP in the car and watch people go nuts. I guess for me its like 4k tv's . Yeah they are cool but only if your going to sit 3 feet from your tv."
"Yea, but will it still handle like shit?"
"but it still has roughly the same dimensions and weight of a small moon, with the outward visibility of a bunker, yes?"
"Oh, how does it turn?"
"700HP is going to instantly warp you to 120MPH and it will probably feel like your driving a Prius most of the time. People will be running 10 second quarter miles while sipping a latte."
"Once a shitbox, always a shitbox."
"Ugh. I hate that kind of hp masturbation. That hp number is ok for the drag strip, is pointless on the street, and unfortunately it's sold to every idiot who *thinks* he can drive. Fortunately, that car has no more than 200 hp once you are in a corner or on a wet road because the electronics, working overtime to save idiots' asses, won't give you any more. However, my friends and I spend our free time instructing at track days - and guess what, we end up in the right seat of increasingly ridiculous cars, so that the student can hit the wall faster."
"Dear Muscle car driver,
The throttle is not a switch. Neither are the brakes. If you're uncomfortable with the size of your genetalia, please seek either a medical specialist or a councellor.
Thanks."
"700 hp is just more than one can fully (close to the limit) use unless one is a very advanced driver, at the level of a senior club racer or a pro. Too much hp also tends to *keep* drivers from learning, because they feel they are the "fastest" anyway, while with a low hp momentum car, you need to learn how to drive well to be quick."
"You will surely be able to impress your colleagues in that 60-9o mph highway "pull". Not interesting at all"
"They better change the brakes and suspension or it'll be another crapcan, hot rod that can spin its tires and make some rednecks spill their beer, but not go fast."
"Hell. Cat. So it'll handle like hell and also be a pussy? Hell hath no fury like Mittens the Tabby? It's a demonically posessed Calico? Sounds like someone in marketing needs a long, long holiday in a nice, comfortable "facility.""
"A hushed crowd awaits the announcement from Dodge on their "unsteerable land missile" project."
"A new car for R U Faster Than A Redneck?"
"I hope that each purchase of a Hellcat comes with a Certificate for a Driving School. Otherwise in our overly litigious society, you might find a few lawsuits coming their way. At a certain point in time, as much as I'm a Jalopnik, there can be such a thing as Too Much Horsepower in the hands of amateurs."
"Frankly, I'm starting to feel like I want this car to be prohibitively expensive. I don't want the regular idiots that I normally see drive Challengers to have access to 700HP."
"its such a shame its tied to such a bloated chassis."
"I sure hope they upgraded the LX platform's suspension to actually keep that power stuck to the ground, otherwise, it's going to be an extremely efficient mechanism for removing wealthy middle-aged men from the world."
"707HP. 650LB/FT. Turns as well as a Buick Regal from the 80s."
Vice President of Internal Affairs at Dirty Donny's House of Hookers
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