I have the worst roomate in the world.

[Hydra]

Tell him to utilize his otherhead and find another place to screw

[Paco Lopez]

I used to toss my roommate's mattress out into the dorm hallway as a polite warning that my girlfriend was in town and he would probably want to sleep in somebody else's room that night.

Just to be a dick I also used to set his alarm to PM instead of AM so it wouldn't go off in the morning.

When he started double checking that his alarm was actually set to AM I started setting the clock itself to PM instead of AM.

We also used to pick up his car and turn it sideways across 2 parking spots.

When we got bored of turning his car sideways we used my buddy's shitty car to shove a massive concrete trash can within 1/2 an inch of my roommate's bumper to prevent him from getting his nice car out of the spot.

I was also rollerblading in the parking garage with a buddy one day and saw my roommate drive by so we grabbed onto his spoiler. When he got to the first turn the spoiler ripped off his car.

Another friend of mine had an amp disassembled on his floor. Some girl tripped and stepped in the middle of it breaking everything. We blamed my roommate for tripping her and made him pay to replace the amp. He didn't really trip her but nobody wanted the girl to have to pay for it.

A few years later I was walking to a party with a bunch of friends and saw a former roommate drive by in his mom's station wagon. All my friends (who he didn't know) jumped in the car and I jumped in the far back. We made him drive us to the party. He didn't know I was in the back so to him it was just a bunch of random dudes carjacking him.

I think I may in fact be the worst roommate ever.

[Tom]

mike does the girl have sex? whats the mormon business about.

anyways

[XJtheXtremeJeep]

haha i got a terrible roomate... his name was jon as well but he didnt have a girlfriend lol nor a boyfriend for that matter

[Vehicleless]

lol paco i feel like your roommates were not fans of you

[Krazors001]

I used to toss my roommate's mattress out into the dorm hallway as a polite warning that my girlfriend was in town and he would probably want to sleep in somebody else's room that night.

Just to be a dick I also used to set his alarm to PM instead of AM so it wouldn't go off in the morning.

When he started double checking that his alarm was actually set to AM I started setting the clock itself to PM instead of AM.

We also used to pick up his car and turn it sideways across 2 parking spots.

When we got bored of turning his car sideways we used my buddy's shitty car to shove a massive concrete trash can within 1/2 an inch of my roommate's bumper to prevent him from getting his nice car out of the spot.

I was also rollerblading in the parking garage with a buddy one day and saw my roommate drive by so we grabbed onto his spoiler. When he got to the first turn the spoiler ripped off his car.

Another friend of mine had an amp disassembled on his floor. Some girl tripped and stepped in the middle of it breaking everything. We blamed my roommate for tripping her and made him pay to replace the amp. He didn't really trip her but nobody wanted the girl to have to pay for it.

A few years later I was walking to a party with a bunch of friends and saw a former roommate drive by in his mom's station wagon. All my friends (who he didn't know) jumped in the car and I jumped in the far back. We made him drive us to the party. He didn't know I was in the back so to him it was just a bunch of random dudes carjacking him.

I think I may in fact be the worst roommate ever.

That is full of win. These are the kind of things you think about later on wondering if you've scarred somebody emotionally

[Bigbike]

Chris that is great!

[wannabejeep]

oh man here's my roommate story. I had a case of coke under my bed and a half finished 20oz coke on my desk when I left one night. I came back and all my coke was gone including the half finished one on my desk. My roommate and his homo friends used it all for mixed drinks and didn't even ask me or offer to pay me back. So the next weekend I drank half a coke, packed a fat lip and proceeded to spit into the bottle. I left it on my desk and went out for the night. When I came back the bottle was sitting empty in my trash can.

[hippie metal]

[Pedro]

I have a good story. I had roommate for my first semester of my sophomore year who was cool. real nice guy but he pledged a frat so he left after the first semester. So I have the room to my self for a few weeks until the next guy I get comes in, who is named John. John is some wigger from elizabeth, NJ (not the nicest place) who thinks he is hot shit ghetto and tough as hell. he is there for less than a week before he beats the fuck out of his girlfriend on valentines day right in front of me. I went to the cops, he is probably in jail somewhere. Oh and his girlfriend, who had already had one abortion, was 3 months pregnant again when he beat her up. I had the room to myself the rest of the year.

[Mike]

sucks that you guys have shitty room mates, mine is awesome.

[Tom]

sucks that you guys have shitty room mates, mine is awesome.

or lack of

[Asian Mike]

I used to toss my roommate's mattress out into the dorm hallway as a polite warning that my girlfriend was in town and he would probably want to sleep in somebody else's room that night.

Just to be a dick I also used to set his alarm to PM instead of AM so it wouldn't go off in the morning.

When he started double checking that his alarm was actually set to AM I started setting the clock itself to PM instead of AM.

We also used to pick up his car and turn it sideways across 2 parking spots.

When we got bored of turning his car sideways we used my buddy's shitty car to shove a massive concrete trash can within 1/2 an inch of my roommate's bumper to prevent him from getting his nice car out of the spot.

I was also rollerblading in the parking garage with a buddy one day and saw my roommate drive by so we grabbed onto his spoiler. When he got to the first turn the spoiler ripped off his car.

Another friend of mine had an amp disassembled on his floor. Some girl tripped and stepped in the middle of it breaking everything. We blamed my roommate for tripping her and made him pay to replace the amp. He didn't really trip her but nobody wanted the girl to have to pay for it.

A few years later I was walking to a party with a bunch of friends and saw a former roommate drive by in his mom's station wagon. All my friends (who he didn't know) jumped in the car and I jumped in the far back. We made him drive us to the party. He didn't know I was in the back so to him it was just a bunch of random dudes carjacking him.

I think I may in fact be the worst roommate ever.

lol you're not only the worst roomate ever...you're an asshole hahahah. that's really funny though

[Mel]

Oh man, those are pretty hilarious! I live across the hall from 2 guys who are pretty good friends of mine and they do shit like that to each other all the time, like the clock one. But shoot some of those they would never think of.

[Lawn Guyland]

i have an awesome roommate.