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I’m going to be brutally honest here with you guys about something. I like to watch baseball. I love to play it and I enjoy watching the Yankees and the Mets play, but if you asked me who was pitching or who is who on either team, I probably couldn’t tell you and I attribute this to another trait of mine; Driving.
When I get into my jeep, I have no idea what the fuck the road names are; I simply know where to go. If someone asks me for directions, I tell them to go wherever I think is right, though it may only be sort of right or completely wrong. I know on which roads to go on by land marks, by looks and all things visual that doesn’t involve a little green (or Blue if you are in Bridgeport) sign that has a name. Highways are really the only thing I follow with names, mainly because they are numerical, but anyway, my point is, I watch the sport of baseball for the Sport, not the mathematical stats and tidbits they feed you with every game. I thoroughly enjoy watching the game being played. I like the Yankees and the Mets because while they have their ups and down, they are still two solid teams to follow.
Now, I bring this up because I spent the day at my father’s house today and my Aunt’s father showed up and he HAD TO WATCH FIFA. I watched Brazil play the Ivory Coast in what can only be seen as one of the most ass backwards, overly dramatic sports in the history of Mankind. I do not watch this sport of Soccer, I want nothing to do with it and I really wonder why America really even gives a fuck about this Third World Sport. Even in Football, while I do not watch or follow, there is a specific game being played and the players try their hardest to get that ball to the end zone by way of brute force and or tactics involving the movement on the ball on a 100 yard Grid Iron.
But then, we have Soccer. A sport loved by the rest of the world. Why? I watched today, with my own two fucking eyes on a 42” Sony Bravia HDTV grown men fake injuries to have the other team lose their more valuable players. I watched some Black Person from the Ivory Coast deliberately run into the Brazilian Player Kaka (that’s his name, I swear) and then flail into the ground, writhing in pain, holding his hands over his face. For a second, I though, man that dude got really fucked up. Then the Replay came and it was all clear. Kaka had no idea this black dude was running at him and that black dude simply ran into his shoulder, Kaka’s elbow briskly grazed the black player’s chest and then you see the grown man, start crying like a fucking CHILD, holding his face in the palms of his hands and complained to the referees that he was Assaulted. Kaka defended himself, saying he did nothing, which was true. HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE. Well, Kaka gets thrown out of the game with a Red Card for his heinous acts of playing Soccer while the other team gets rewarded because Obijiwakakablama passed acting school with flying colors and was able to tune his brain into dumping tears out of his glands at will and instantly dump all testosterone in his body and replace it with estrogen..
‘This must be a fluke’, I thought to myself. No way is this common practice in a World Wide Sport, yet as the game went on, every five minutes or less, someone else was faking an Injury as if it was part of the game. But then it was revealed to us. It IS part of the game. Players legitimately cry foul against the other team to have specific players kicked to give the team an advantage and they get away with it. Why? Because third world countries barely have Television sets, so how would they have the ability to do instant replays and see this fucking bullshit??
Uncontrollable laughter erupted from my Cousin’s mouth, my Uncle’s mouth and ultimately mine, as we began to watch this sport as a Joke. A manifestation of pussies in uniforms playing an ungodly unorganized sport. I honestly feel bad for the people who watch this sport, enjoy this sport and follow it as a whole. I do not want America to win this, in fact, I want America to have nothing to do with this sport in the least bit and just to spite the fucking bullshit out of my Family, I’m going to Root for New Zealand who is currently tied in second place with ‘Italia’.
So, I realized just today that Soccer is a fucking waste of time. For those who think Baseball is fucking boring, fine, go watch Soccer, your brain will become tapioca pudding by the end of that 90 minutes filled with crybabies pissing and moaning over fake injuries as they pretend to be badass and hit a gay ball into a net with their face and feet. I will continue to watch baseball for the Sport that it is, even if accusations of steroid use and over paid players still plague the game, the Sport is still there in its purest form. Soccer is a sport of crybabies that takes the shape and form of hitting a ball into a net on a grassy field.
Sorry for the long post, but it had to be said.
Fuck Soccer.
When I get into my jeep, I have no idea what the fuck the road names are; I simply know where to go. If someone asks me for directions, I tell them to go wherever I think is right, though it may only be sort of right or completely wrong. I know on which roads to go on by land marks, by looks and all things visual that doesn’t involve a little green (or Blue if you are in Bridgeport) sign that has a name. Highways are really the only thing I follow with names, mainly because they are numerical, but anyway, my point is, I watch the sport of baseball for the Sport, not the mathematical stats and tidbits they feed you with every game. I thoroughly enjoy watching the game being played. I like the Yankees and the Mets because while they have their ups and down, they are still two solid teams to follow.
Now, I bring this up because I spent the day at my father’s house today and my Aunt’s father showed up and he HAD TO WATCH FIFA. I watched Brazil play the Ivory Coast in what can only be seen as one of the most ass backwards, overly dramatic sports in the history of Mankind. I do not watch this sport of Soccer, I want nothing to do with it and I really wonder why America really even gives a fuck about this Third World Sport. Even in Football, while I do not watch or follow, there is a specific game being played and the players try their hardest to get that ball to the end zone by way of brute force and or tactics involving the movement on the ball on a 100 yard Grid Iron.
But then, we have Soccer. A sport loved by the rest of the world. Why? I watched today, with my own two fucking eyes on a 42” Sony Bravia HDTV grown men fake injuries to have the other team lose their more valuable players. I watched some Black Person from the Ivory Coast deliberately run into the Brazilian Player Kaka (that’s his name, I swear) and then flail into the ground, writhing in pain, holding his hands over his face. For a second, I though, man that dude got really fucked up. Then the Replay came and it was all clear. Kaka had no idea this black dude was running at him and that black dude simply ran into his shoulder, Kaka’s elbow briskly grazed the black player’s chest and then you see the grown man, start crying like a fucking CHILD, holding his face in the palms of his hands and complained to the referees that he was Assaulted. Kaka defended himself, saying he did nothing, which was true. HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE. Well, Kaka gets thrown out of the game with a Red Card for his heinous acts of playing Soccer while the other team gets rewarded because Obijiwakakablama passed acting school with flying colors and was able to tune his brain into dumping tears out of his glands at will and instantly dump all testosterone in his body and replace it with estrogen..
‘This must be a fluke’, I thought to myself. No way is this common practice in a World Wide Sport, yet as the game went on, every five minutes or less, someone else was faking an Injury as if it was part of the game. But then it was revealed to us. It IS part of the game. Players legitimately cry foul against the other team to have specific players kicked to give the team an advantage and they get away with it. Why? Because third world countries barely have Television sets, so how would they have the ability to do instant replays and see this fucking bullshit??
Uncontrollable laughter erupted from my Cousin’s mouth, my Uncle’s mouth and ultimately mine, as we began to watch this sport as a Joke. A manifestation of pussies in uniforms playing an ungodly unorganized sport. I honestly feel bad for the people who watch this sport, enjoy this sport and follow it as a whole. I do not want America to win this, in fact, I want America to have nothing to do with this sport in the least bit and just to spite the fucking bullshit out of my Family, I’m going to Root for New Zealand who is currently tied in second place with ‘Italia’.
So, I realized just today that Soccer is a fucking waste of time. For those who think Baseball is fucking boring, fine, go watch Soccer, your brain will become tapioca pudding by the end of that 90 minutes filled with crybabies pissing and moaning over fake injuries as they pretend to be badass and hit a gay ball into a net with their face and feet. I will continue to watch baseball for the Sport that it is, even if accusations of steroid use and over paid players still plague the game, the Sport is still there in its purest form. Soccer is a sport of crybabies that takes the shape and form of hitting a ball into a net on a grassy field.
Sorry for the long post, but it had to be said.
Fuck Soccer.
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