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Dear Jon,
I write this to you, not out of hate, resent, or retribution...but out of pity. Somewhere beneath the off-brand tires, the bushwackers and lame rims, exists hope. Your new bumper. To the untrained eye, one may simply see a mass of steel, constructed for the purpose of deflecting things, protecting your front end, among other things. But we both know the true meaning of this creation. It is your burning desire to be like HeavyMetal. For this I do not fault you, such is a worthy goal, of which any man should strive for, but not just any man can reach such a plateau of such unadulterated awesomeness. A man plagued by the nuances of open-openism, bent "nitro" steering, and holey floors, (yes holey, not holy, a nameplate reserved for the one true heavymetal, not knockoffs).
Perhaps you should have used the metal in your new bumper to patch that swiss floor of yours, as it has surely gone to waste on its intended poser purpose. Though I will acknowledge you did not take things as far as "The Man Known as Crosby" (who succeeded in copying not one but TWO metals
).
So, I write this to you as a friend, an intervention of sorts. Jon, a bumper crafted after the very inspiration you desire to mimic, will not solve anything. When the dust settles, and the sun sets, a copy is still a copy, and although imitation is the sincerest form of flattery...I am grossly unflattered by your attempt at sullying my jeep's name with your knock-off effort. It could possibly be argued that one of the Marcelliano clones is to blame for this, but that is another open letter in and of itself, and is a battle for another day, should the clone choose to take the fall for you.
Take care and god speed,
- "The Management"
I write this to you, not out of hate, resent, or retribution...but out of pity. Somewhere beneath the off-brand tires, the bushwackers and lame rims, exists hope. Your new bumper. To the untrained eye, one may simply see a mass of steel, constructed for the purpose of deflecting things, protecting your front end, among other things. But we both know the true meaning of this creation. It is your burning desire to be like HeavyMetal. For this I do not fault you, such is a worthy goal, of which any man should strive for, but not just any man can reach such a plateau of such unadulterated awesomeness. A man plagued by the nuances of open-openism, bent "nitro" steering, and holey floors, (yes holey, not holy, a nameplate reserved for the one true heavymetal, not knockoffs).
Perhaps you should have used the metal in your new bumper to patch that swiss floor of yours, as it has surely gone to waste on its intended poser purpose. Though I will acknowledge you did not take things as far as "The Man Known as Crosby" (who succeeded in copying not one but TWO metals
).So, I write this to you as a friend, an intervention of sorts. Jon, a bumper crafted after the very inspiration you desire to mimic, will not solve anything. When the dust settles, and the sun sets, a copy is still a copy, and although imitation is the sincerest form of flattery...I am grossly unflattered by your attempt at sullying my jeep's name with your knock-off effort. It could possibly be argued that one of the Marcelliano clones is to blame for this, but that is another open letter in and of itself, and is a battle for another day, should the clone choose to take the fall for you.
Take care and god speed,
- "The Management"
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