texts from last night

[Lawn Guyland]

i know someone already made a thread about this site...but i'm sitting here reading some of these and i can't stop cracking up

www.textsfromlastnight.com

(510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
(1-510): It was probably Jesus.
(510): I feel like he would have left a message.

(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

(843): lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
(404): Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.

(210): READY
(1-210) for what?
(210) TO HAVE SEXXXX
(1-210) i think you have the wrong number

[SupermanIce-J]

BAHAHA the last one is awesome!

[DrThunder]

(312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

[Lawn Guyland]

(917): omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
(310): Whats your twitter name

(517): he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
(231): better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.

these are so good

[OTTE]

[DrThunder]

(913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

[XJtheXtremeJeep]

I honestly dont find most of these all that funny

[Henchman]

[Lawn Guyland]

(604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

(510): my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

[Kyle]

Most of them are pretty good.

They seem like lines off the FML site.

[Asian Mike]

i know someone already made a thread about this site...but i'm sitting here reading some of these and i can't stop cracking up

www.textsfromlastnight.com

(510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
(1-510): It was probably Jesus.
(510): I feel like he would have left a message.

(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

(843): lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
(404): Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.

(210): READY
(1-210) for what?
(210) TO HAVE SEXXXX
(1-210) i think you have the wrong number

HAHAHAHAHA omggggg

[Asian Mike]

(505): the new term for farting is butt boxing.

[Lawn Guyland]

(830): If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice.

[Lawn Guyland]

(612): You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
(763): Yes.
(612): fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria

[Asian Mike]

(612): You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
(763): Yes.
(612): fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM LAUGHING SO HARD