Shower

[Pete]

How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins...
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red...
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake your pecker at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your pecker and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your ass, leaving those coarse ass hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair if you have any.
Have a piss.
Rinse off a little and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire pecker size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake your pecker at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again
Throw wet towel on bed

[Chaos]

Being married, this is all true.

[hippie metal]

[Riot]

I died at "Have a piss"

[Asian Mike]

the "blow your nose into your hands" part is so true. after work everyday, some nasty shit comes out of my nose

[XJcrazy00]

Saw this on Facebook, I think through one of you guys actually. Full of win and had to show my girlfriend. Although after showering with her a few times she pisses in the shower too, usually to retaliate because I just pissed on her feet.

the "blow your nose into your hands" part is so true. after work everyday, some nasty shit comes out of my nose

THIS. When I worked in a garage that ran 20 concrete mixers and 10 dump trucks I blew nothing but black snot out of my nose for months! Fucking gross man.

[Asian Mike]

[QUOTE=
THIS. When I worked in a garage that ran 20 concrete mixers and 10 dump trucks I blew nothing but black snot out of my nose for months! Fucking gross man.[/QUOTE]

lol yeah i landscape so there's always dirt and crap in my nose

[DizzDizz]

lol yeah i landscape so there's always dirt and crap in my nose

dude i worked in a body shop for 4 summers the shit that came out of my nose HOOOOLLLLYYYY SHIT.

but all this is true.

[Mangi Hill]

I was laughing until Matt told us all how he and his GF pee on each other...........

[ct67_72]

I was laughing until Matt told us all how he and his GF pee on each other...........

Seriously
But so true. The blowing your nose in your hand is so true. After being in a shop all day with diesels running and shit flying around the stuff that comes out of my nose is obnoxious.

[DizzDizz]

Peeing on each other I saw a video on that once it changed me forever. Ill never get back the man I used to be.

[Buffalo Phil]

I was laughing until Matt told us all how he and his GF pee on each other...........

Some people are into that kind of stuff, man.

[Crazy Reid]

"Woo Woo"? WTF!


I make helicopter noises

[Asian Mike]

Peeing on each other I saw a video on that once it changed me forever. Ill never get back the woman I used to be.

ficksed

[XJcrazy00]

You haven't lived until you've pissed on someone in the shower.

Maybe I should clarify though, by retaliate I do not mean piss on me, I mean that she finds it gross and her pissing is an attempt to gross me out in return.