Tweet
Dear Christopher Otte,
I am writing this open letter to you, oh man with one last name of many pronunciations, because of a revelation I had the other night whilst engaged in a conversation with another member of this fine forum. You must be taken aback; I can sense it in your fears and all others whose eyes will follow word for word of this letter. I have discovered your plan, your fiendish plan to destroy the very fabric of humanity.
What is this plan you say? HA! I scoff! Beneath the gentle giant completion and the soft spoken manner in which you carry yourself day to day, there is a cold, stone heart beating within your chest. You watch all of us and laugh secretly while we destroy our Jeeps and yet your Jeep Cherokee remains pristine!
You, Sir, are Diabolical.
Your brilliant plan has gone on for too long. You built your Jeep just a bit, just enough so that you can say you have a modified Jeep and that you wheel it, occasionally. The word ‘occasionally’ is the big key word here. Occasionally. You installed just a little lift, installed some nice tires, and compliment it all with a couple pictures of you splashing in the mud and water and a few harmless rocks on Facebook and this great forum, and other things that would never turn any of our heads. Oh a brilliant plan indeed, but that is not all. You then show up to major wheeling events like Operation Enduring Realness V with you Jeep, reinforcing the fact that you take the Jeep Cherokee offroad and then you ask around if you can ride because the trails are too ‘tough’ for your unlocked Jeep. Oh, let me cry for you!
But the feeble minds of this great forum fall for it, including myself, because we love you, Christopher Otte. To each meet and greet you bring us delicious cookies that even our own esteemed Nicole Sorrentino, master of the baked good, would sacrifice children just to have a taste of the delicious chocolaty disks. You watch over us when we are drunk because of your vow of abstinence and we cling to you when we cannot walk from there being too much alcohol coursing through our veins.
BUT THESE INSTANCES ARE ALL PART OF YOUR VILE PLAN!!
We cannot break your balls, we cannot make fun of you, and you are untouchable to some! Anyone who would make fun of you, Christopher Otte, would be sent right to the furthest hells where the fires melt skin and boils your eyes until they pop like corn kernels on a hotplate! And then, to top if off, you fly so far under the radar, that you may as well be wearing the dish on your head! We cannot break your balls about your Jeep Cherokee, either, because you still bring it to the events and it looks very nice! My Jeep Cherokee has been ravaged by time, hit by every tree and rock in New England and yet, your body panels are like mirrors, as fresh as they day they where painted, as smooth and fair as the skin of a young woman of the orient. And that stance, a solidly build Jeep Cherokee with a stance that makes the very users of Jeep Forum rage with jealousy.
It must be hard living your life like that, Christopher, not spending any money on your Jeep Cherokee, posting once in a while on the forum, making sure that people still know you are doing okay, and then showering us with your love and cookies every meet and greet just so you can own a Jeep Cherokee, wheel it sparingly and then simply ride shotgun with everyone else. How do you sleep at night?
I have revealed your plan, what say you? Have we entertained you enough!? Has our suffering and defeat cracked a hidden smile on your face while you return to your Jeep untouched by nature!? Never once have you known the feeling of riding in the passenger seat of a AAA flatbed with your Jeep behind you unable to move under its own power because of a catastrophic failure in the drivetrain or steering!
I fear that you may never know these feelings, Mr. Otte, and I fear that you may live the rest of your life in complete bliss. I cannot have that, nor can I cannot have you willfully ignore the fact that once in a while you must obtain rock rash on your vehicle.
I hope the other great people of this forum now realize your brilliant plan to watch us all suffer, Christopher, I am merely here to educate.
Sincerely
Esteemed Moderator
‘Buffalo’ Phil Larocca
I am writing this open letter to you, oh man with one last name of many pronunciations, because of a revelation I had the other night whilst engaged in a conversation with another member of this fine forum. You must be taken aback; I can sense it in your fears and all others whose eyes will follow word for word of this letter. I have discovered your plan, your fiendish plan to destroy the very fabric of humanity.
What is this plan you say? HA! I scoff! Beneath the gentle giant completion and the soft spoken manner in which you carry yourself day to day, there is a cold, stone heart beating within your chest. You watch all of us and laugh secretly while we destroy our Jeeps and yet your Jeep Cherokee remains pristine!
You, Sir, are Diabolical.
Your brilliant plan has gone on for too long. You built your Jeep just a bit, just enough so that you can say you have a modified Jeep and that you wheel it, occasionally. The word ‘occasionally’ is the big key word here. Occasionally. You installed just a little lift, installed some nice tires, and compliment it all with a couple pictures of you splashing in the mud and water and a few harmless rocks on Facebook and this great forum, and other things that would never turn any of our heads. Oh a brilliant plan indeed, but that is not all. You then show up to major wheeling events like Operation Enduring Realness V with you Jeep, reinforcing the fact that you take the Jeep Cherokee offroad and then you ask around if you can ride because the trails are too ‘tough’ for your unlocked Jeep. Oh, let me cry for you!
But the feeble minds of this great forum fall for it, including myself, because we love you, Christopher Otte. To each meet and greet you bring us delicious cookies that even our own esteemed Nicole Sorrentino, master of the baked good, would sacrifice children just to have a taste of the delicious chocolaty disks. You watch over us when we are drunk because of your vow of abstinence and we cling to you when we cannot walk from there being too much alcohol coursing through our veins.
BUT THESE INSTANCES ARE ALL PART OF YOUR VILE PLAN!!
We cannot break your balls, we cannot make fun of you, and you are untouchable to some! Anyone who would make fun of you, Christopher Otte, would be sent right to the furthest hells where the fires melt skin and boils your eyes until they pop like corn kernels on a hotplate! And then, to top if off, you fly so far under the radar, that you may as well be wearing the dish on your head! We cannot break your balls about your Jeep Cherokee, either, because you still bring it to the events and it looks very nice! My Jeep Cherokee has been ravaged by time, hit by every tree and rock in New England and yet, your body panels are like mirrors, as fresh as they day they where painted, as smooth and fair as the skin of a young woman of the orient. And that stance, a solidly build Jeep Cherokee with a stance that makes the very users of Jeep Forum rage with jealousy.
It must be hard living your life like that, Christopher, not spending any money on your Jeep Cherokee, posting once in a while on the forum, making sure that people still know you are doing okay, and then showering us with your love and cookies every meet and greet just so you can own a Jeep Cherokee, wheel it sparingly and then simply ride shotgun with everyone else. How do you sleep at night?
I have revealed your plan, what say you? Have we entertained you enough!? Has our suffering and defeat cracked a hidden smile on your face while you return to your Jeep untouched by nature!? Never once have you known the feeling of riding in the passenger seat of a AAA flatbed with your Jeep behind you unable to move under its own power because of a catastrophic failure in the drivetrain or steering!
I fear that you may never know these feelings, Mr. Otte, and I fear that you may live the rest of your life in complete bliss. I cannot have that, nor can I cannot have you willfully ignore the fact that once in a while you must obtain rock rash on your vehicle.
I hope the other great people of this forum now realize your brilliant plan to watch us all suffer, Christopher, I am merely here to educate.
Sincerely
Esteemed Moderator
‘Buffalo’ Phil Larocca
i missed these! Well done phil. Bravo
2000 XJ with goodies soon to be in pieces
Comment