Best. Note. EVER!!!

[hippie metal]

Holy shit I'm sure its fake but its hilarious


http://www.cracked.com/blog/greatest...ft-dented-car/

The resulting chase was fantastic, and if you are at all curious what your car can do at the edges of its performance envelope, I highly encourage you to check out the evening news tonight. Big dirty old four-wheel drifts around hairpins, and bootleg turns, and this one insane jump off of one of those car-transporting trucks over a school bus full of clapping children. You will shit, as will, I suppose, your insurance company.

[Asian Mike]

i'd be so mad if i found a note like that on my car haha

[Ruepart Hoaxley]

Bahahahahahahaha

[Riot]

That was hilarious.
Almost as hilarious as the uncertainty you have in regards to the authenticity of the note-- that you showed us all by saying "I'm sure it's fake."

[hippie metal]

I'm fairly sure it would be fake, cause if it were true. Dude had to of been copying that down as he read it with it being disappearing ink and all

[Zullock Holmes]

I'm fairly sure it would be fake, cause if it were true. Dude had to of been copying that down as he read it with it being disappearing ink and all

lmfao, you actually thought that one through pretty well. kudos.


I just assumed that it would be highly unliking for someone these days to actually elude the authoritas via motor vehicle.

[Even]

lmfao, you actually thought that one through pretty well. kudos.


I just assumed that it would be highly unliking for someone these days to actually elude the authoritas via motor vehicle.

Depends on the resources the authorities have and the seriousness of the offense. Punk teenagers run from the cops and get away every day, especially motorcycles.

[hippie metal]

Depends on the resources the authorities have and the seriousness of the offense. Punk teenagers run from the cops and get away every day, especially motorcycles.

....he jumped a school bus.........of clapping children

[tjramplebump]

its gotta be fake...same with this letter which i find incredibly hilarious


***warning, a bit vulgar***


Dear Connie,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says "There's no one like you, Connie." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial.

What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'm never really thought of that before.

I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'm tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.

Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you. It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.

Otherwise, can you let me know where the ****ing remote is.

Love, Dan

[96jeepman]

i read that whole thing and about killed my self

[hippie metal]