FMYLIFE

[Lawn Guyland]

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancee, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancee for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

[Lawn Guyland]

sam! this one's for you:

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

[Buffalo Phil]

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancee, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancee for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

Some of these have to be made up, if not, I can see the obituaries afterward subtly explaining suicide.

[Even]

Some of these have to be made up, if not, I can see the obituaries afterward subtly explaining suicide.

i guarantee at least 30% of these are made up

[Lawn Guyland]

oh definitely, but they're so funny

[Even]

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

[XJtheXtremeJeep]

^^ those the story of your life??

[Even]

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then proceeded to call out my own name by accident. FML

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

[Ktmracer419]

sam! this one's for you:

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

and i still can't beat it

fml

[1Amabile]

sam! this one's for you:

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

bahahahahah

[Ktmracer419]

bahahahahah

jerk

you will be crying in a couple weeks

[1Amabile]

well seeee

[Ktmracer419]

i can play slow ride on hard

and get like 80%

what now? HUH!?

[1Amabile]

[Burton58]

my friend can do through the fire and flames on hard... i'm amazed that man has a gf