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For the people who aren't cool enough to attend line mountain that weekend at RC... ( 
)
...Let's get this fucking show on the road. Hux, you essentially have to show up, I don't give a fuck about your job, your parents, your horses and if you are on fire or not, grab your balls and a fire extinguisher and show the fuck up in either your mother's miata, your pink Volkswagon or your father's Yanko Nova, any will do (preferably Yanko, but that's completely different).
Dizzy, we now officially have a bet because I keep getting this texts and IMs from you. You told me last week you were going to be 'sideways 90% of the time'. Okay, well, I hope you don't plan on winning... Anyway, I receive a text from you today saying that your suspension is dialed in so you aren't hitting [cones], and that you have Brembo brakes installed as well. You suspension better be as tuned as a $400,000 violin on broadway and those brakes better stop your car before the fucking dime shows up.
Deal 1: Hux shows up, Dizzy, I'll buy you a coffee 'cause I'm the nicest guy on this planet. Hux bails, he gets publicly humiliated and you buy me a coffee. (Hux, you better show, this is one bet I don't mind losing)
Deal 2: Dizzy, the SECOND YOUR BMW touches a cone, even GRAZES one, if the molecules that make up the paint on your car even come within a billionth of a nanometer of a cone, or that your so much as briskly pass one so close that you couldn't squeeze and Japanese CH between the two, you owe me a 20 piece chicken nugget OR any other crispy chicken based substitute. TAKE NOTE. For ever cone you demolish after that initial COMBO-BREAKER, you owe me part of your SOUL (Caleb, I can't make that deal with you, sorry, insufficient funds and all, don't feel bad, though, you don't talk trash). Hit enough cones or cut enough corners and your soul simply becomes mine. Do it right and just hit one, I'll allow it so I can digest crispy chicken some time during my lifetime on your dime.
I'll be there to take pictures of you all but if Dizzy's car ruins the sensor in my camera, I'll no longer be able to do it. I'll stack filters so that the gay doesn't destroy the electronics within.
So other than Hux (who is going to go), Dizzy and Caleb, who else is showing up with a car (question directed at those who will be driving around the parking lot). Danny, you bringing your little red GTi??
Go.
)...Let's get this fucking show on the road. Hux, you essentially have to show up, I don't give a fuck about your job, your parents, your horses and if you are on fire or not, grab your balls and a fire extinguisher and show the fuck up in either your mother's miata, your pink Volkswagon or your father's Yanko Nova, any will do (preferably Yanko, but that's completely different).
Dizzy, we now officially have a bet because I keep getting this texts and IMs from you. You told me last week you were going to be 'sideways 90% of the time'. Okay, well, I hope you don't plan on winning... Anyway, I receive a text from you today saying that your suspension is dialed in so you aren't hitting [cones], and that you have Brembo brakes installed as well. You suspension better be as tuned as a $400,000 violin on broadway and those brakes better stop your car before the fucking dime shows up.
Deal 1: Hux shows up, Dizzy, I'll buy you a coffee 'cause I'm the nicest guy on this planet. Hux bails, he gets publicly humiliated and you buy me a coffee. (Hux, you better show, this is one bet I don't mind losing)
Deal 2: Dizzy, the SECOND YOUR BMW touches a cone, even GRAZES one, if the molecules that make up the paint on your car even come within a billionth of a nanometer of a cone, or that your so much as briskly pass one so close that you couldn't squeeze and Japanese CH between the two, you owe me a 20 piece chicken nugget OR any other crispy chicken based substitute. TAKE NOTE. For ever cone you demolish after that initial COMBO-BREAKER, you owe me part of your SOUL (Caleb, I can't make that deal with you, sorry, insufficient funds and all, don't feel bad, though, you don't talk trash). Hit enough cones or cut enough corners and your soul simply becomes mine. Do it right and just hit one, I'll allow it so I can digest crispy chicken some time during my lifetime on your dime.
I'll be there to take pictures of you all but if Dizzy's car ruins the sensor in my camera, I'll no longer be able to do it. I'll stack filters so that the gay doesn't destroy the electronics within.
So other than Hux (who is going to go), Dizzy and Caleb, who else is showing up with a car (question directed at those who will be driving around the parking lot). Danny, you bringing your little red GTi??
Go.
Vice President of Internal Affairs at Dirty Donny's House of Hookers
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